On Contours and Culture

The other day, I was seated in the aisle of a city bus adjoining a rustic middle-aged man in the window. In front of us were two college guys. The guy in the window started spitting out intermittently. Though annoyed by this indecency, I didnt react.My neighbor called the guy and told " Why are you spitting like this ? I am coming from the farms but I know how to react in a public place". The guy couldn't speak anything and avoided reply only to avoid an altercation. He stared at my neighbor even when getting down.

This induced a train of thoughts in me. Just like the chemical detergents which cleanse our vessels but corrodes them gradually, I feel the modern education in its quest to eradicate superstition and ignorance from the society has also instilled arrogance and selfishness in its members.

The Most Eligible Bachelor forever……..

If you are approaching or on or slightly after the threshold age of bachelorhood still not showing the green-signal for the bridal hunt, it will rain Ideas and Opinions about the rosy things in a married life thanks to the contributors in a variety of forms ranging from the vegetable-seller on the street to your own crony.

I have managed to consolidate a ready-made arsenal of answers that are thrown randomly according to situations and characters for the single question - “When are you going to marry?” .Sometimes just a smile to evade an argument or to get rid of a respected figure, “Definitely not today” to induce a chuckle, “The Process has begun” to give the other a transient relief, “Very soon” which makes the other fantasizing the would-not-be party.

The mere smell of your desire to be single might immediately pop out one of the following Top 10 questions.

1. “Who will look after you when you become old?”

2. “Do you have any physical problem?”

3. “Do you have/had an affair?”

4. “Why don’t you allow your parents to fulfill their ultimate responsibility?”

5. “Will your parents not wish to play with your kids?”

6. “Are you going to become a Sanyasi?”

7. “You don’t want your family lineage to keep going?” (If you are the only progeny)

8. “Is it not going against nature by staying single?”

9. “What will happen if the desire to marry descends on you when you become 40+?”

10. “What will you do if you repent on your decision later on?”

I was puzzled by the outlook which even the most successful wedded ones own when it comes to marriage which had become synonymous with security, lineage, and production of off-springs. Is marriage a premium for the nursing assistance cover in your sun-set days? If that is a given, who can explain the raison d’etre of the scores of Old-age homes? Should spiritual ambitions, broken relationships or ailments be the sole reason behind one’s solitude? The Pedigree theory fails as my family is not a mauryan dynasty which might loose its glory with the dearth of a direct political heir and my kids would only be a humble contribution to the already saturated Indian population. They are toys which grannies and grandpas adore playing in their second childhood but these toys have an entertaining life-span of just a year or two till they get attracted to playmates of their age. One can reverse the decision to remain single even at the age of 50+ (?) but can it be done with equal convenience if one is married?

I can share a secret now. I would really become like Rahul Dravid’s XI with the doosra which nobody had bowled till now to my luck - “Don’t you think you need someone to share your life plus all its contents?” I will not be able to quote Books or Profession or Hobby as a replacement to a human companion.

Is Companionship a long-forgotten meaning or yet-to-evolve philosophy behind marriage?